The Nameless Quest in The Gate of the Sanctuary from The Temple of the Holy Ghost (Collected Works, Vol I) by Aleister Crowley.

“I thought within myself a bitter thing,
Standing abased. The golden marriage ring
The queen had given—how her beauty stank
Now in mine yes, where once their passion drank
Its secret sweets of poison. Let the spring
Of love once dawn—all else hath little thank!” [via]

Consider also:

  1. “Yet resolute I put my love away. It could not live in this amazing day. Love is the lotus that is sickly sweet, That makes men drunken, and betrays their feet”
  2. “Oh! my pure heart! Adulterous love began So subtly to identify the man With its own perfumed thoughts. So steals the grape Into the furtive brain–a spirit shape Kisses my spirit as no woman can. I love her–yes; and I have no escape. I never spoke, I never looked! But she Saw through the curtains of the soul of me, And loved me also! It is very well. I am well started on the road to Hell.”
  3. “A hollow voice from every quarter cries: ‘O thou, zelator of this Paradise, Tell thou the secret of the pillar! None Can hear thee, of the souls beneath the sun. Speak, or the very Godhead in thee dies. For we are many and thy name is One.'”
  4. “Yet the thought chilled me as I touched the reins. Ah! the poor horse, he will not. So remains, Divided in his love. With mastered tears I stride toward the parapet. My ears Catch his low call; and now a song complains. The bridge is bleeding and the river hears. Ah! God! I cannot live for pity deep Of that heart-quelling chant–I could not sleep Ever again to think of it. I close My hearing with my fingers. Gently goes A quivering foot above them as they weep– I weep, I also, as the river flows. Slowly the bridge subsides, and I am flung Deep in the tears and terrors never sung. I swim with sorrow bursting at my breast. Yet I am cleansed, and find some little rest. Still from my agonised unspeaking tongue Breaks: I must go, go onward to the quest.”
  5. “Beauty, the sacred lotus: let me say The word, and make my purity complete. The whole is mine, and shall I keep a part? O Beauty, I must see thee as thou art!”