Jesse had nothing to reveal, no secrets to tell. He would never break, as other people break, and cry out by their openness the intimacy of love.
I don’t want to be high any more or again, and this sends me into a spiral of misery, life seems completely empty if this magic world is too painful for me. I want to die and I have infinite terror of the pain of every form of death. I see emptiness and hopelessness everywhere.