Tag Archives: ego

A preliminary initial Thelemic analysis of Stalkers, Trolls and Antagonists

My observation is this: stalkers, trolls and antagonists refuse to mind their own business and stop interfering with other people. Of course, they will say it is their Will to do what they do, but what they are really is a slave to their deep-seated emotional and psychological need for validation; and are not pursuing any kind of True Will, life purpose, of their own at all, but attempting to salve the sucking wounds they suffer from deep seated damaged desires at the expense of others, instead of seeking therapy or properly self-medicating themselves out of the way.

They are, in fact, some kind of Black Brothers, one and all. These creatures captured by their own egos are all unable to reconcile their deep psychological wounds and damaged personalities with the right of others to simply say “No!” to anything more to do with them. And, even this denied right to say “No!” is predicated on the illusion that the other has ever said “Yes” to begin with, and ends up being a kind of broken opt-out mechanism from abuse. What it comes down to is this fact: there are some people who hate themselves so much, and, because they are unable to reconcile that feeling, they will externalize their hate on anyone or someone specific that is a convenient target. After all, it is injustice that they can’t have their infantile demands fulfilled forthwith by someone else! There are sometimes even legendary levels of ultimately meaningless constructed illusion and phantasm completely divorced from reality necessary to justify their actions.

Disingenuous self-justifications may be proffered such as that they are “helping” people but at the core they are focused on what other people are up to and emphatically not doing their own work, or that they are being righteous and seeking justice, but at the core they are focused on getting others to do something that serves not the other but the person doing the interfering.

Maybe a dumb example, but (the primary advantage of this anecdote is that he’s dead now and is thus quite unlikely to throw a tantrum or have a hissy fit): my father used to do things like say he wanted to take me to a shop to buy me a gift. We would then go to some store, usually some place he suggested; and there he would say I should look around for something I liked. However, while I was looking he would do everything in his power to steer me to some specific items he had already selected, under the guise of attempting to “help” me find something I liked. In the end, if I was not amenable to being herded toward selecting as my choice some pre-selected gift he would get frustrated and create some kind of row in order to get out of buying me anything at all other than his gift, or anything at all if I still not a willing to succumb to the inexorable indirect demand to do what he wanted, which he could have simply purchased without my involvement in the process to begin with; thus proving that there was ulterior motive to the drama. In the end, I simply refused to participate in the sham any longer as it was a waste of my time and personally insulting to be expected to act as a puppet in the pantomime.

This kind of “helping” is a deeply suspect kabuki, entirely a constructed plot that the “helper” is attempting to manipulate others into acting out for them, usually in order to get some validation for themselves. In any case, the script appears to be written out of a desire to control others. In other words, these would-be centres of attention and sycophantic demanders of praise are of the vicious and venomous creeping conviction that they are the lead actors in someone else’s story when, in fact, they are not likely to even be more than a voiceless, faceless and uncredited extra, at most.

Stalkers, trolls and antagonists are not following their True Will, but are grasping desperately onto the tails of other people going about their own work and Work. This is fundamentally the opposite of finding and expressing one’s own True Will but is unilaterally and co-dependently demanding to be allowed into orbit around someone from whom they think they can suckle attention and feedback, positive or negative. These people are psychic vampires in need of being staked, and diseased social boils in need of being lanced.

Unfortunately, the heroic and hopeful Van Helsing and Dr Kildare in their attempt to be free from such interfering influences appear to be the aggressive party when they attempt to implement a cure to this parasitic perfidy. Those stalkers, trolls and antagonists fly into hysterics at the affront when confronted, and flop into pseudo-victimized apoplexy; violently dramatizing their plight at the hands of their target who dares try to defend themselves from distracting bites and defenestrate the annoying insects. And, unpleasantly, when one manages to eject the trash, the stench of its passing lingers far too long.

 

[Originally posted over on John Griogair Bell’s Blog at A preliminary initial Thelemic analysis of Stalkers, Trolls and Antagonists]

Initium Novum

 

Initium Novum
(Dalí)

The last segment to the Lux Lucis album, this piece of the Occult Sonicart release is entitled, “Initium Novum”. This final fragment is not meant so much to be conclusive as it is meant to relay one back into the first segment, “Terminus ut Vetus”. What this sonic atmosphere is intended to convey is the internal battle between the Light and Dark — the Self and Ego. It is not a war that can necessarily be won by either side, but oftentimes we find ourselves feeding one side more than the other — providing that part of ourselves a momentary instant of more influence. The composition of this track includes vocal parts contributed by Mahatma Dalí’s id, The Masterless. The inclusion of The Masterless practically felt necessary, considering Mahatma Dalí has been referred to as the ‘egoless alter’ and The Masterless, the ‘alter ego’. It is a haunting registry indeed, whether it is the tail of the serpent or its head is irrelevant. For with the Ouroboros, everything comes full circle.

Mahatma Dalí, a composer of vanishing-point music, strives to provide the masses with a unique listening experience. While the sustained tone branch of minimalist music is about as far away from music as it can get before it ceases to be musical, there is something undeniably rhythmic and hypnotic about it — the very things M. Dalí accentuates on.

The harmonic (and quasi-harmonic) tone-clusters that culminate M. Dalí’s brand of dronology are riveting in a way that becomes increasingly difficult to describe as it plays out. When you couple this with the conceptual soundscapes that they articulate within, you’ll find what the ear would otherwise dismiss as tumultuous becomes a sonic scenery wherein which your imagination is the only limiting factor in this auditory experience.

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Magick, Music and Ritual 6, the Winter 2013 anthology album from the Hermetic Library
Hermetic Library Anthology Project – Magick Music and Ritual 6

 

 

In Nomine Babalon, CVIII

CVIII

I give up my ego and all that I am,

I shall be bled whiter than a spring lamb!

Surrender my life and become as Her pawn,

I raise up the cup and adore Babalon!

In Nomine Babalon: 156 Adorations to the Scarlet Goddess

 

The Hermetic Library arts and letters pool is a project to publish poetry, prose and art that is inspired by or manifests the Western Esoteric Tradition. If you would like to submit your work for consideration as part of the Arts and Letters pool, contact the librarian.

“Pathology of the Sublime” from Problems on the Path of Return by Mark Stavish, M.A. in Vol 3 No 1 of Caduceus.

“As new energy and expanded awareness is experienced and increasingly rooted to daily life, the ego and all that it has built up begins to feel threatened. The new ways of living, feeling, praying, loving, and being are so different, even if in reality they are only minor initiations so to speak, from the ego’s perspective, they might as well be an intrapsychic coup d’etat!” [via]

“Pathology of the Sublime” from Problems on the Path of Return by Mark Stavish, M.A. in Vol 3 No 1 of Caduceus.

“While the four major existential fears of annihilation and death, responsibility and freedom, aloneness, and meaning, (Existential Psychotherapy, Yalom) are the fears most deeply rooted in the ego (Assiah/Malkooth) and can be said to be a result of the transient nature of the Elements from which it is created, these conflicts are not the result of internal instinctual strivings, or of encounters with our internalized images of significant adult authority figures during the infantile stage of our development (as in Freudian work), but with inescapable givens of our existence in the world.” [via]

Psychological Effects of Pathworking from Problems on the Path of Return by Mark Stavish, M.A. in Vol 3 No 1 of Caduceus.

“To this end, the following examples of cabalistic path working are being given, as well as possible psychological benefits as well as pathologies which their working (particularly out of sequence) can evoke within the psyche of the operator. While no single path is ever worked exclusively, only realized as such by our outer self (i.e. ego), the effects are seen predominately when particular paths are undertaken as ritual or esoteric operations. The paths are numbered in a working sequence for a reason, it is best to follow that sequence if disharmony and psychic disruption is to be held to a minimum.” [via]

Psychological Effects of Pathworking from Problems on the Path of Return by Mark Stavish, M.A. in Vol 3 No 1 of Caduceus.

“In fact few people stay with any system long enough to realize the genuinely spiritual aspects of the Work they are doing. The need for genuine self-honesty and purification on the level of the ego and the repressed areas of the subconscious, before the refined and powerful forces of the soul can shine freely and effectively through the ego and not be overly distorted by it, must be recognized by students if they are to derive full benefit from the Work they are doing.” [via]