At the same time, I sense something like a Gestapo knock, an attempt by the real world to force itself into my carefully maintained happiness, something undeniably capable of smashing my fragile life. The pain which is unaccountable and new, which speaks of its own growth and victory, which speaks of disorder and loss in short bright stabs.
Mary Sativa, Acid Temple Ball [Amazon, Bookshop, Publisher, Local Library]
Jesse had nothing to reveal, no secrets to tell. He would never break, as other people break, and cry out by their openness the intimacy of love.
Mary Sativa, Acid Temple Ball [Amazon, Bookshop, Publisher, Local Library]
I don’t want to be high any more or again, and this sends me into a spiral of misery, life seems completely empty if this magic world is too painful for me. I want to die and I have infinite terror of the pain of every form of death. I see emptiness and hopelessness everywhere.
Mary Sativa, Acid Temple Ball [Amazon, Bookshop, Publisher, Local Library]
Get undressed and try this, it’s unbelievable.
Mary Sativa, Acid Temple Ball [Amazon, Local Library]
A pageant of the Eastern gods is unfolding as I dance naked towards his naked body. The wheel of creation and destruction, things of surface and illusion dying into purer being. We are the perfected. Changing yet unchanging in annulled time. I dance toward him and each moment is lost, unremembered.
Mary Sativa, Acid Temple Ball [Amazon]
I roll over and put my arms around Jesse, we hold each other tenderly and rock in the sun. Jesse pushes into me slowly, wet and silky, lies against me with one leg between mine, his body and the sun one embrace touching and awakening me.
Mary Sativa, Acid Temple Ball [Amazon]
Making love to Jesse was more like drugs than sex, nothing was static or confined to one role. Under my hands he was a girl, a newborn child, a flowering plant, a sculpture that I was carving inch by inch, the perfection of all my desires. He was not conscious of himself other than as something undergoing change and seeking to minimize pain, he was open to all possibilities.
Mary Sativa, Acid Temple Ball [Amazon]
he had hoped to reconcile his faith with the lost wisdom, but instead he had been worn away, forgetting the problem and any hope of solving it.
Mary Sativa, The Lovers’ Crusade
He balls me better than anyone I know, no weekend joy-popping thrill, but like wine, grass, home-baked bread, a real nourishment for body and soul, day in and day out.
Mary Sativa, Acid Temple Ball
Decades had passed, and he was old, inured to strangeness. Nothing had been confirmed except a long-suppressed suspicion of men’s selfishness.
Mary Sativa, The Lovers’ Crusade
